Fragabond

Zack here. In case you ever find yourself wanting to take a trip like this, I offer this post as advice in the peculiar art of road-tripping, sans-camper. This year we have stayed in 10 Airbnbs with varying success. If you live under a rock and don’t know about Airbnb, it’s basically a way to travel anywhere in the world, stay in a local place, and simultaneously undermine the local housing market.

I have found that the key to enjoying an Airbnb stay is to make sure the place isn’t TOO local or personal. Good hosts tend to know that the stereotypes of a given area is consistent with what most guests want to experience…the good stereotypes, that is…in Montana, buffalo and elk heads, in Colorado, I could use some mining references and wood paneling, North Carolina, rustic woodsy images (but please hold the kitschy bears). It’s also usually nice to add a touch of “modern:” sharp lines, wrought iron, floating shelves, y’know – stuff that looks nice. 

What I do not want, nor can I fathom who might want this, is some bulbous 1980’s hellscape planted in the middle of rural Montana. I have never slept with my .45 so close to me. I don’t know if it was the colors, the overwhelming scent of mylar and plastic or just the ominous undercurrent of dread about who had been doing what there before we arrived, but it was truly the worst Airbnb (or place, period) I have ever had to stay. Take me back to the campsite!

So, what did I learn? Batting 100% is hard. Better to put some margins in the budget if you fare to travel this way (it might still be cheaper than getting that RV?). Here a just a few photos of the nightmare fuel from our last stay:

Trust me, they don’t do it justice. Katie says I’m being dramatic, and maybe that’s true, but regardless, the deep disdain I held for that place did help to propel our adventure to new and adventurous heights!

After staying in Livingston, Montana for 4 (excruciating) days out of the originally-planned 14, we called an audible and decided to head up to Glacier National Park in northern Montana. Because of its location, Glacier is not as busy as other national parks. Located roughly 5 hours north of Bozeman, it is smack dab in the middle of nowhere, right on the border of Canada, and in a place we deemed unlikely to have the opportunity to return again, given its locale. It’s famous for its wildlife and sweeping scenes of vast ancient glaciers.  

So, after canceling the remainder of our stay in Livingston, buying a box of .45 FMJ rounds (apparently hollow-points just piss off the grizzles), and a fresh can of bear spray, we loaded up the adventure-mobile and pushed north. Montana is beautiful and rugged country, though as a Floridian tourist, I hate to imagine a winter there. It snows in September, and as one of least populated states by area, its vastness is excessively difficult to capture in photograph. 

Upon arrival in Kalispell (outside Glacier), we stayed in a farmhouse apartment replete with horses, chickens and cows outside (pure bliss, compared to the Livingston hellhole). Glacier has a few hikes that are renowned for their beauty. We took one of those Saturday morning. It was a 2.5 hour drive from where we were staying to the trail head (did I say it was remote?), but after waking up at 4am and getting out early to make the best of the day, the trail delivered.

The highlight of the trail came when we turned a corner roughly 4 miles up. We were greeted by these two smiling white faces. Mountain goats, less than 10 yards from us! 

On top of that, I also got to swim in the glacial lake, AND we saw some wild Grizzly bears at exactly the right distance (no spray or bullets necessary)!

We have spent the last two months driving along and exploring the backbone of America (I think we crossed the continental divide ~7 times). This land has delivered us dinosaur tracks, gold studded rock, jagged peaks, yawning geysers, ancient fossils, glacial lakes, and breath-taking waterfalls. America is big. Really big. Its beauty is hard to express in pictures, and it demands reflection – reflection that I suppose will happen not just now, but in the future as these memories marinate and grow. For now, I am content just to take it in with the person I love most!

– Zack